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  • Writer's picturetamara

Grace, Determination, and a little bit of Sass

Isn't it kind of ridiculous how hard we are on ourselves? Like if you really step back and look at the big picture of life, don't you think we are all freaking superheroes? I do!

In my 47+ years on this planet, I have yet to meet another human being that hasn't gone through some MAJOR shit in their lives - I am one of them. And yet here I am struggling with my overall belief in who I am, what I have to offer, and how to truly live my most authentic and fulfilling life.

WHY? Why do we do this to ourselves when I know with all of my being that we are all and all have unique gifts to share with the world. Yet here I am .... on pause ....

Let's rewind a little bit .... 8 years ago I started a coaching business with my now ex. She stumbled across the opportunity and there were many elements (like some of the supplements and the fitness components) that aligned with my life. I have known for quite some time now that fitness is my therapy - yes, I go to counselling sessions because I need that too - but for me, working out has been my sanity.

There have been many moments over the past 15+ years where I've run off something I was working through, or Zumba'd my way through major emotions, or lifted so I could feel physically strong enough to deal with the mental anguish I was experiencing. Fitness is a HUGE component of my mental health and so this coaching business felt like it fit really well with my values and, there was the extremely fulfilling piece that I would be able to help others on their own journeys as well, so I jumped in full speed ahead.

The past 8+ years have been ..... how shall I say, one hell of a ride! I know looking back that I have grown and learned so much along the way. Even just writing that, I feel a wave of accomplishment and pride wash over me. I also feel this weird "block" that I haven't been able to put my finger on quite yet. I have these little "aha" moments .... and right now, I think I'll start trying to work through those in order to find my way in this biz again. I feel like if I try to tackle the major "why the fuck are you stopping yourself T?" all in one fell swoop, it will be like someone making 10 New Years resolutions and then bailing on all of them because they weren't realistic to start with.

So, let's state the obvious - when we started this business, we were an "identity" or a unit. I wouldn't say we were a team, because let's be honest - in a team, there is a fairly equal effort from all teammates and that most certainly was not the case. I think this past year+ has been a bit of a roller coaster for me trying to figure out who I am and how I run this business as me and I think THAT is an extremely fair statement. Anyone running a business with a partner that separates from said partner is going to go through some growing pains as things shift and evolve after the separation. This is the part where the word grace from the title comes in to play - I am choosing to give myself grace just like I would give to someone I love going through a similar situation.

Over the time since the separation of our business, I have had other life trials and tribulations (as most of us have). This is also where I give myself grace. I have navigated healing, moving to a new home, job changes, mental health issues with my children, learning to love myself, challenging work situations, purchasing a vehicle, shifts in friendship, falling in love, starting perimenopause and more .... all of this in under a year .... so again, I choose to give myself grace because I know I would do the same for someone I love and if I truly love myself, then I will treat myself with the same love I give to others.

Going through these trials, tribulations AND life changing events has taught me a couple of things - one of the most important things it's taught me is the value of my time and that I truly didn't value my time before because I wasn't really happy. It seems to be a pattern in me that if I am unhappy, I will fill my time with things to do (usually things I love, but things nonetheless). For example, when I was feeling like things were falling apart with Neal, I filled my time with Zumba. The same can be said of my most recent relationship. I was not truly happy and as a result, I worked hard on our coaching business and was willing to sacrifice as much time as I needed to in order to not feel the unhappiness.

I am not willing to do this anymore. This is where the word determination comes in to play.

I have worked my ass off to build a business that I love - I LOVE helping people because I am not helping with something on the surface. I am helping someone feel better from the inside out and for me, there is no better feeling than that! So I am determined that I will figure out how this business fits in to my life WITHOUT the need to work at it as much as I did in the past. I am determined that this will be my retirement fund and I am excited to grow older with a community of kick-ass humans that support one another on business goals, life goals, and everything else in between. How this looks for me moving forward, I have NO idea. BUT I am determined I will figure it out along the way because I love what I do AND my time is incredibly valuable. Things like spending time with my love, being with my kids, visits with friends and family, and sleep or rest have become more and more important to me so I WILL find a way to be successful in business and still live MY life.

The final piece for me is sass. I am just not feeling as "tender" as I used to be. Don't get me wrong - I will ALWAYS recognize that we are all doing our best. There are so many factors at play when someone is committing to changing their life for the better and I only walk in my own shoes. What I am not feeling as "nice" about is the excuses - if I can make fitness & nutrition & working on my mindset a priority, so can well .... anyone. What it truly boils down to is how bad someone wants to make the changes and I guess that is where my sass may have to come in to play more often.

I love the quote from Tony Robbins that says "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change." I looked myself in the mirror tonight and thought "why NOT you T?" and this is my step 1 - acknowledging where I am and the process of looking in to make the changes I want to make because I have big goals and big dreams for my life. What will you look yourself in the mirror and ask tonight? We all know the basics of fitness, nutrition, money management, etc - what is it for you that has finally reached the point that it truly needs to change? Are you willing to join me on the look in? Let's see where this 2023 takes us together ... who knows, maybe this really is our year! ;)

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