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  • Writer's picturetamara


So much happens in a day of teaching - sometimes I wonder what day that happened or even how was that just ONE day?

The other day (no idea which one), my class asked me a question. They asked me why I don't yell at them? They said that most teachers they have had yelled at them and they wanted to know why I don't yell.

I asked them a question in return. When someone yells at you, do you listen? Do you hear what they say?

They all said no.

I said no.

When I am yelled at, I don't hear what is being said at all.

So then I asked them - why would I yell at you if I know I don't listen when I'm yelled at and that they likely aren't hearing what I say if I yell?

They were quiet for quite a while. It was interesting to see them pondering this idea.

The entire conversation came up because I was disappointed in their choices. Nothing major - typical 12/13 year old decisions - but I was disappointed. I explained that I have very high expectations when it comes to behaviour, work ethic, etc and just because I don't yell doesn't mean I don't care or want them to push hard. I also explained that there will be times that I use my big teacher voice which none of us want.

And it got me thinking about disappointment in general.

Is this why we have a failure of commitment when it comes to setting the big goals we want to set for ourselves? So rather than trying to reach that goal, we don't even try because we don't want to disappoint ourselves?

I know this led me off on a tangent from the beginning of this post - but it really did get me wondering. If we just stick with our own self-determined status quo, then we don't ever risk the self-disappointment.

Why not shift this my friends? Let's try this instead.

Thing of your BHAG - big hairy audacious goal.

Now what is ONE thing that will help you make it to that BHAG?


Working with clients on weightloss one example of a BHAG is losing 50lbs.

ONE THING that will help them make it to that BHAG is to REALISTICALLY commit to 3-4 workouts per week. Pick a number that works for YOU.

Then show up on these 3-4 days.

Do NOT focus on other parts of the BHAG - just this one.

And show the fuck up.

Do this for 2-3 weeks.

Then ask - "what is the next step to get to my BHAG?"

And repeat.

I can promise you one thing - you'll be proud you showed up and this fear of disappointment will fade. Now my BHAG is to continue to encourage my students to be stellar human beings and my step to this is to remain calm even IF I want to scream and shout! Wish me luck!

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